Handiwork
One recurring theme in conversations with Moms of pre-teen and teen girls is, “how do I help my daughter realize her true value, rather than seeking to gain value through [her grades, her sport, her friendships, her looks, her accolades]? This is an important topic, and one that drives a lot of what we do at Relay Exchange, Inc., where our mission is to lead girls to the truth of who they are in Christ.
“Our mission is to lead girls to the truth of their redeemed identity in Christ, freeing them to pursue God, His plans and His ways.”
We are valuable because God made us in His image and was willing to sacrifice Jesus to have a relationship with us. But how do we take this from words on a page, or truth in our own hearts, and transfer it to the next generation? Some of us were adults before we grasped this truth -- how can we pass this particular baton to the next generation sooner?
First, it is our prayer that each girl find and accept the salvation offered in the atoning death of Jesus Christ. This is the story of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation: God’s great rescue plan to restore the relationship broken by our sin. John 3:16 makes it clear that God’s love was the driving factor in His plan to rescue and redeem us, and that He made a way for us to come to Him through His Son Jesus. Accepting this gift of grace from God is the first step and the foundation of truth.
Second, there is a distinction between self worth and self confidence in this context. We can gain confidence in ourselves and our God-given talents and abilities by learning new skills, by trying new things, and by stepping out in faith. We can be confident in His leading and can walk in His ways, using our gifts for His glory. This is different from our inherent worth as an individual. It is also different from working to earn His love. The truth is, there is nothing we can do to make us love God more, and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. Knowing our own self worth is about owning and living the truth that we are enough, that we are loved, and that we are complete in Christ Jesus.
Even when we have a grasp on that truth, pressures and messages from external sources can creep in, tempting us to believe lies about ourselves. We as moms know this to be true; it can be a struggle to remember where our worth lies. It is so important that we as moms wrestle with this issue and resolve it at the foot of the cross, so that we are able to lead our girls to this truth. We must first know it and live it ourselves, and then our girls can follow our example.
We frequently hear about people who, on the outside, seem to have accomplished (or have been given) so much, yet they struggle with their own happiness and self worth. Famous actors and athletes, as well as many others, have been generous in sharing their stories of struggle. Reading these accounts may make us wonder why someone with worldly success, or exceptional physical attributes, or who is at the top of their game athletically would struggle. We may even look at those in our own circles and wonder the same. Over and over again, both in ourselves and in others, our own efforts to define our self worth fail us. Why?
Why doesn’t it work to get our self worth from our accomplishments or our looks or our power or our influence? Because that is not how we are designed.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
This may be a key to passing along this important and life changing truth to our girls: God does not give us gifts and talents so we can use those gifts and talents for their own glory. He equips us with gifts and talents so that we can use them for His glory. We are His handiwork, or as other translations phrase it, His workmanship. God created us and looked at what He created and said, it is GOOD. He didn’t create us and then say, “let’s see what you can do.” He created us, He wants a relationship with us, in case that wasn’t clear, He came down here and showed us how it’s done. Jesus wants us to follow His example,
“just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28 NIV
God made us and molds us so that we are equipped for good works He planned for us in advance. God equips us to follow the example of Jesus and serve others. But, and this is the game changer, our worth was established when we were made, and not when we perform! When we understand this, we are free to use our gifts to further God’s kingdom instead of relying on them for our self worth. What can we do to steer the generation coming behind us away from the traps we have ourselves fallen in?
We can know the truth of our redeemed identity in Christ for ourselves.
We can live like we know it, refusing to believe the lies of the enemy about what makes us worthy.
We can grow in self confidence through our reliance on God, and we can be fully confident in Him.
We can develop our gifts and talents and give God all the glory.
We can pursue a personal relationship with Jesus and make that relationship the most important one in our lives.
We can love others.
We can serve others together.
We can pray for the next generation.
We can repeat truth to them, and we can live out the truth for them, and for ourselves.